Stress testing the household budget before retirement.

Apparently this is a ‘thing’ and strongly advised.  It is not, however, likely to be our ‘thing’ as I don’t see it being in any way feasible, regardless as to my accepting that it sounds, theoretically, entirely sensible.  

If the figures were where we would like them we (or, at least, I) would be gone already but as S points out he enjoyed his youth and this is the price to be paid.   We also have stuff we want to do both pre and post retirement.  That comes at a price and we are currently and likely to remain in that trade off between time and funds.

As I have mentioned (well ranted) previously the recent widespread projections in the national press as to the minimums required for a comfortable, or even moderate, retirement are not exactly helpful, at best, on the  ‘have I saved enough’ front.  They are quoting net figures, without any housing costs, that are higher than many are earning gross whilst still paying off the mortgage and, for that matter, saving into their pensions.  If the researchers are to be believed I wonder how many retirees are subsisting on little more than lentils and beans.  

Inevitably we will have to cut our cloth somewhat when we do retire but arriving at actual budget figures is not entirely straightforward and not aided by the much broadcasted supposed base lines. 

In our case, there are days when actually going to work, or at least to the office, seems ridiculously expensive.  There are hotels, evening meals out when staying at a hotel for more than one night (I usually do something for one night and we picnic in our room), parking (I have a monthly contract through work for before and after check in/out or if I just drive down for the day), petrol/diesel costs to get to London and back, train and tube fares for S into central London, the odd train fare to and from London (when our days together just don’t work out and/or driving down and back is less than ideal), ulez charges (depending on the vehicle we take), lunches/coffees/drinks with colleagues, dry cleaning (more S than me, he still has to wear suits on a fairly regular basis).  There are frequent collections for someone’s big birthday, retirement, wedding etc, someone is always looking for sponsorship for a marathon, absail, parachute jump etc etc.  Returning from holiday with local delicacies to share are the norm.   I don’’t mind those - for starters hatches, matches and despatches are the way of the world, such events should be celebrated and if someone I know wishes to make a supreme effort for their preferred good cause then I’ll support them in doing so. They are, however, an outgoing expense that I expect will be lessened on retirement.

All in all I think, that little lot would bust any retirement budget pretty quickly.  This two salaried household takes quite some hit with it pre retirement.  I’ve been trying to work out what are truly linked to work and what I might be just attributing to ‘work expenses’ because they are incurred on days when we are at the office.  This is easier said than done.  Are coffees, meals out and trips to the pub going to come to an abrupt halt when we retire?  I doubt it but I can’t see them being quite so frequent and we may be a little more discerning as, for the most part, we eat rather better at home than we do out.  

Quite where that line will be drawn I have no idea.  Testament to that is that I am typing this in a coffee shop sitting opposite, S who is on his own electronic device on a Saturday having escaped the house for a short while before we man up and tackle the ‘to do’ list.  The coffee machine at home might well have produced a latte for S of comparable quality, a pot of Yorkshire (PG Tips or Tetley) tea would have been fine for me and we could certainly have found something sweet to go with it.  Toast and jam springs to mind.  We have lots of jam and are not eating enough of it, possibly because we are at coffee shops all too regularly.  

Once we do not have to cram everything into the weekend perhaps the ‘to do list’ will feel less onerous and require less working up to.  Then again, that may be a little overly optimistic!

Additionally, every weekend, along with many other households with full time working adults, I have the laundry to do.  Drying in the UK, especially when working/not at home 24/7 can often be a tumble dryer job.  Nice cheap option that is to run!  I do get that many households are more disciplined in this than I am, though, this household’s chief laundry maid is home less than some.  My main excuse, however, is that we use all of our house daily when home.  There is not a room that is not in proper use at some point during the day with the possible exception of my study which might not get that much use at weekends though I do have my sewing machine, overlocker and general sewing paraphernalia in there plus our personal paperwork.  I do hang some stuff up to dry and I will use the electric towel rail in the shower room on occasion together with some of the other radiators if the fire is on and it is appropriate.  What I will not do is turn the whole house into Widow Twanky’s laundry.  Neither of us is going to be sitting all day (on work days) in studies with a rack of drying laundry alongside or behind us.  It is just not conducive to a good working environment or good living and for S, who spends a lot of time on Teams meetings, it is just inappropriate.  I know you can blur a background but that has its own issues.  I do get, in saying this, that some have no option.  For the time being, however, we do and I am going to put the tumble dryer on if more convenient.  In retirement we may well be able to find a more suitable outside option on a more regular basis (ie not just when there is a drought on) and therefore cheaper, drying day.  Though I know full well that I am still likely to finish my towels off in the tumbler dryer regardless.  It’s a fluffy thing!

For us I think a financial cliff edge may be the only way.